I recently read an article in the Harvard Business Review, Leadership is a Conversation, by Boris Groysberg and Michael Slind. As of June 2012 Boris and Michael had spoken to over 150 people in 100 companies where research participants consistently mentioned their efforts of "having a conversation" or "advancing the conversation" in their organizations.

I agree that Leadership, in part, really is a conversation. And I have also found that leaders who struggle most fail to engage people through conversation. Often times they:

The challenge in many organizations is not just that there are too many meetings, but that there are too many poorly run meetings. As a result people waste time and energy instead of getting "real work" done. Here is a checklist I use in my strategic team building and team development programs as I observe and provide real time coaching. Check it out and see how your team is doing. Structure

A challenge in too many organizations is that teams and leaders often seek agreement instead of commitment.

You probably know what I'm talking about.

Agreement happens when people sit in meetings, nod their heads, and then afterwards either fail to take action or deliver on time.

Commitment, on the other hand, occurs when people take responsibility and then follow through to completion.

Agreement results in head nods. Commitment results in action.

Is your team stuck in seeking agreement instead of commitment?

In Part 1 of this post I mentioned that collaboration trumps time management...every time. In others words, if you want to do things faster and better, instead of looking toward time management techniques to make 5% or 10% improvements, figure out how to work more effectively with others - on your team, across departments, and within the broader organization. For collaboration to work, relationships must be focused on open communication. How do you create open communication?

When people don't communicate what they need, it results in a lose-lose for themselves and others around them.

I recently experienced this in my personal life. I'd been traveling (mostly for fun and personal time off) several weeks in a row and my wife and I were invited on an out-of-town trip to the mountains with friends. I immediately said yes, because spending time with friends and family is one of my core guiding principles.

Another  common and costly leader mistake that can result in a loss of credibility and trust.

MISTAKE: Leading with answers instead of questions.

Jim Collins said it best in Good to Great:

Having successful relationships in the workplace requires only three simple things:

1. people who think exactly like you do.
2. people who have the same exact needs as you.
3. people who have a perfect history with you.

If you DON'T have these three things, then I'd consider you normal. And, if you do have these three things, they're likely to be accompanied by their three cousins -  groupthink, mediocrity, and stagnation.

As heard in one of my team coaching sessions last week from a participant...

"If two people agree, you don't need one of the opinions."

Are you tired of showing up at meetings and not knowing why you are there to begin with?

That seems to be the norm in most organizations.

The problem is that when there isn't a clear purpose and agenda for a meeting, people waste time and  energy endlessly talking around each other - never closing on decisions and moving actions forward.

Do you know what the Number 1 excuse is for not having an agenda?

"We don't have enough time."

People are too busy, overwhelmed, and overloaded.

Healthy conflict. Dialogue. Debate. Too often teams avoid it.

Why?

Here are three reasons.