Everything in life is a choice.

How do you make your choices? What are they based on?

When we are clear about what is most important to us, we can make choices that are aligned with what we want in our lives. Guiding principles help keep us focused throughout the year and give us a foundation to determine the choices we make every day. It is through those daily choices that we build our lives.

Here's a quick visualization exercise you can try to help you create your guiding principles. Journal about the following:

Collaboration trumps time management...every time.

We often seek to do things faster and better and as a result look for "time management" techniques for the answer.

The problem is that time management often results in us asking the wrong question - "How do we do what we are currently doing more efficiently?"

Instead...focus on working more effectively with others and you'll find yourself answering these types of questions:

When people don't communicate what they need, it results in a lose-lose for themselves and others around them.

I recently experienced this in my personal life. I'd been traveling (mostly for fun and personal time off) several weeks in a row and my wife and I were invited on an out-of-town trip to the mountains with friends. I immediately said yes, because spending time with friends and family is one of my core guiding principles.

Another  common and costly leader mistake that can result in a loss of credibility and trust.

MISTAKE: Leading with answers instead of questions.

Jim Collins said it best in Good to Great:

Another  common and costly leader mistake that can result in a loss of credibility and trust.

MISTAKE: Solving problems others should solve.

It’s not uncommon for new leaders to solve problems for their team members instead of helping them learn to do it on their own. For the overly controlling leader, you may find it faster to take care of it yourself than to take the time to teach.

For the less assertive leader, it might be easier to do it yourself so you can get around confronting an issue directly.

What is your team's purpose?

What is your team supposed to do that no other team does?

These are important questions for all teams - whether you belong to a management team, a functional team, a project team, or other.

The challenge in most organizations is that teams don't have clarity about their purpose. They brush it off as something too fluffy to consider. Or, for other teams, their purpose ends up on a pretty poster in a conference room and does nothing but take up wall space.

There are two common and costly mistakes leaders make that can result in a loss of credibility and trust.

MISTAKE 1: Getting caught up in the Popeye Syndrome – “I am what I am.”

The implied message here is “I am the way I am and if you don’t like it, who cares?”

Have you ever respected any leaders whose words did not match their actions? Have you ever had respect for a leader who preached personal values, yet behaved differently?

The fundamental component of People-First Leadership™ is to Lead by Example. This is the core  — the component that will either establish your credibility or kill it. Just remember: Lack of credibility will prevent you from earning commitment and trust from your team members. Without that, there is no leadership.

Having successful relationships in the workplace requires only three simple things:

1. people who think exactly like you do.
2. people who have the same exact needs as you.
3. people who have a perfect history with you.

If you DON'T have these three things, then I'd consider you normal. And, if you do have these three things, they're likely to be accompanied by their three cousins -  groupthink, mediocrity, and stagnation.

Rule #1: Do not avoid the difficult conversations. Your people will know, and you'll lose credibility in their eyes.

Rule #2: Everything you communicate can be done in a way that maintains or enhances a team member's self-esteem.

Rule #3: Own your feedback. Stop saying "we" think and start saying "I" think.

Rule #4: Ask for input.

Rule #5: Communicate what you know and what you don't know.